4. New Year’s Eve Plan

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 34; the thirty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is “Of-Course, I’m insane”

CAUTION: This is written for ADULTS. Reader discretion is strictly advised. It doesn’t contain explicit language, but has several puns.

[Stage Setting: Four circular tables with four chairs, with spoon & fork holders on table tops; arranged in zigzag manner. Table 1 (leftmost) and Table 3 are occupied by couples. A small blackboard mounted on a tripod to the right side of the stage reads “Qainaat Shack”: Today’s Special, and lists down some items]

[Conversations on Table 3]
Nazam: No way, that’s just so insane. I ain’t doing it!
Nazreen: Of c’mon. I thought you “loved” music
Nazam: I do, listening to it; not creating it.
Nazreen: Have you never done Karaoke? It is super-fun!
Nazam: Oh! So, you’ve done it before, tell me about it.
Nazreen: Well, nothing special really. It was a girl’s night out once, when we went to some random karaoke place, celebrations of her getting engaged or something, and the girls got drunk. So we got a bit courageous
Nazam: It has got nothing to do with courage
Nazreen: Of course, you need the balls to go on stage and make a fool of yourself in front of so many people
Nazam: Oh c’mon! There should be better ways of ringing in the New Year
Nazreen: Ok Mr. Smartass. Why don’t you suggest one?
Nazam: Ok, this has been one of my lifelong fantasies. [Whispers in her ear. Once he is done, sits back with a smug face]
Nazreen: You are bloody crazy! We aren’t going to do anything of that sort at all!
Nazam: Why not?
Nazreen: Are you nuts? Why would someone take a boat and go out into the sea at night, just to make love in the waves!
Nazam: Ok, first of all. It’s a yacht, not a boat. And secondly, since we are talking about midnight, I introduced the night angle. Anyway, think about it. Now that’s courageous
Nazreen: That’s not courage. That’s a mad fantasy, the kinds that are never fulfilled
Nazam: Ok, so you don’t want me to make love to you tonight!
Nazreen: You do it every other night! It’s New Years Eve, can’t you think of something else?
Nazam: Well, I did think of something else and that’s the reason why we are not in our home or our city or even our darned country right now! And besides, we don’t do it “every night”
Nazreen: Don’t blame me!

[Shack’s waiter quickly enters stage and approaches table]

Waiter: Excuse me, would you like another round Sir?
Nazam: Yeah, I’ll take another beer
Waiter: And Ma’am?
Nazreen: Yeah, another virgin mojito
Waiter: Sure Ma’am. And anything to eat?
Nazam: Yeah, fish fingers please

[Shack waiter exits stage]

Nazreen: Fish you!
Nazam: Where is that coming from?
Nazreen: That’s your third beer. If you keep drinking, forget the sea, you’ll not be able to do anything to me anywhere
Nazam: I trust your oomph
Nazreen: I don’t trust “Mr. Flaccid.” He’s cheated me a couple of times in the past
Nazam: All it needs is warmth and a little pampering; given your skill levels, you don’t have the right to “mouth” such grievances!

[Smooching sounds from the adjacent table. Both Nazreen and Nazam distracted. Nazreen turns back first]

Nazreen: Helloooo! Will you stop devouring her with your eyes?
Nazam: [without turning back] Yeah yeah, wait.
Nazreen: [Gets up and goes to occupy the chair adjacent to Nazam, starts gazing at the couple again. After a few seconds] I’m sure he is a 12-er . . .
Nazam: [Gets up, and takes the chair opposite to Nazreen, with his back to the adjacent table] Shh! You darned lunatic! We decided that we’ll not talk about such things publically
Nazreen: Look, who’s talking!
Nazam: At least, I’m whispering. I use discretion
Nazreen: I’m more confident of my sexuality than you are!
Nazam: What on earth! Where does sexuality come into the picture
Nazreen: Uff! I hate your digressions! So, tell me where will we be at midnight?

[Shack Waiter comes over and places the drinks and the fish fingers on the table, smiles and leaves the couple alone]
Nazam: Let’s go shopping!
Nazreen: Now honey, you are talking sense
Nazam: What the hell! Screw you! I was just kidding
Nazreen: Mr. Smartass; shopping is not a matter of jest
Nazam: Holy goodness! You women just need to hear the word, and your mouth starts dripping with saliva!
Nazreen: Yucks! Can’t you think of better words to express your disrespect?
Nazam: Ok, let me try
Nazreen: Idiot! I was just kidding!

[Nazreen’s phone rings]
Nazreen: Uff! It’s boss from work, I wonder why he is calling in now! I’ll be back [Nazreen takes the call, and walks away from the table]

[Shack’s waiter re-enters the stage, notices Nazam alone and approaches the table again]
Waiter: How is everything Sir?
Nazam: Everything fine. Thanks
Waiter: Sir, I’m sorry, I did overhear part of your conversation. If you want, I can suggest something interesting for tonight.
Nazam: Hmm…Ok?
Waiter: Sir, this is Ko Pha Ngan. Here lot of couples experiment with partner swapping i.e. swinging
Nazam: Hmm…
Waiter: Life needn’t be black and white, you know just two people; add some colour in, get a few more people into the picture
Nazam: I don’t think we are in that phase of our relationship yet!
Waiter: Think with a free mind sir. Everybody comes to our full moon beach parties with an open mind.

[Nazreen comes back to the table]
Nazreen: [Still speaking into the phone] Thanks boss. [Hangs up mobile, sits at the table]
Waiter: How is your virgin mojito ma’am?
Nazreen: It’s perfect. Thank you.

[Shack waiters goes and begins readjusting items on other unoccupied tables]
Nazam: Welcome back
Nazreen: What were you and that guy chit-chatting?
Nazam: Nothing much, he was asking how was everything and he also suggested an idea
Nazreen: Oh really?
Nazam: Well, let’s not talk about that. So, what do you want to do tonight babie?
Nazreen: Hey, I just remembered. You told me about that trip to Pattaya with your friends long back. Even that was a beach, right? What did you guys do that New Year’s night?
Nazam: Well, let an untold story remain untold
Nazreen: Hmm…Do I have cause for concern?
Nazam: Oh no! No! We didn’t do anything wrong! It wasn’t like that. It’s just that it is my friends secret too, so sorry, can’t share it.
Nazreen: [Looks at the pamphlet stuck in the table-top spoon holder] Hey, look at this one. Shit! It’s been right in front of our eyes. It says there is some special New Year’s bash at this place
Nazam: What! Now, you are doing an image prompt!
Nazreen: Well, our indecisive position seems to call in for some desperate measures
Nazam: Position! Yeah, that reminds me. [Takes out his mobile, scrolls the screen and then excitedly shows it to Nazreen] Here! The last night when we were doing it, this was the position I suggested
Nazreen: [Looks at the mobile thrust into her face, squints her eyes and lowers Nazam’s hand] We’ve already tried it
Nazam: Did we? [Takes back his mobile and looks at it again] Oh yeah! You didn’t last even two minutes in that! [Laughs]
Nazreen: Can we please get back to the point of our discussion?
Nazam: Oh damn! Yeah, so what shall we do tonight?
Nazreen: Ok, so I got a brilliant idea. Let’s just each other go our separate ways from here on. And at night 11PM, we should be at that mall where we shopped yesterday. No contact what so ever. And you know, we’ll just be browsing through everything on display. It is highly possible that we’ll bump into each other again. Think about it [Eyebrows raised] It will be like ‘Strangers in the night’ kind of thing; you know like our first meeting, all over again
Nazam: [Keeps looking at her blankly]
Nazreen: [Waits for his response, thinking he is imagining it]
Nazam: [Continues to look at her blankly]
Nazreen: Well?
Nazam: You told me, you’ve never read Mills and Boons. So where is all this popcorn-romance coming from?
Nazreen: It’s my own idea. I don’t need books to educate me how to be romantic
Nazam: If that’s your idea of romance, I strongly recommend you read some books to rectify your notions.  That’s just nuts!
Nazreen: Not nuts, insane it is! And of course, I’m insane. That’s why I’m with you.
Nazam: Shaddup. Anyways, if we both go separate ways from here, what we do until 11PM should remain a secret. If you can promise me not to question about that, then I am okay with the idea
Nazreen: What the hell! What are you planning on doing mister?
Nazam: Well, we should have a couple of blank pages in our trip, don’t you think. Things that we can’t recollect or things we don’t want to recollect?
Nazreen: You are bloody insane!
Nazam: Oh c’mon, think about it!
Nazreen: Shaddup. Idea cancel. Now, what’s next on the list?

[Distracted by some guy shouting a ‘Hello’ as he enters the stage. The guy hugs the Shack Waiter and then goes over to the DJ kiosk in the corner and starts setting it up]
Nazam: You know what! After this whole conversation, I think your karaoke item is the best suggestion we have till now
Nazreen: You know what! After this whole conversation, I think the karaoke suggestion sounds very lame!
Nazam: So, the sea and the boat it is then?
Nazreen: Once again! You are insane!

[Speakers in the house start playing out:  What are you waiting for? Just surrender here tonight. What are you waiting for? As we go towards the light. When everything is said and done. Still looking for answers, if only one.  Turn my back, the urge had gone. Left with no reason, we come undone {# The Island © Pendulum}]

Nazam: You know what! Let’s just surrender here tonight
Nazreen: [Smiles]
Nazam: I just need to be next to you, that’s all.
Nazreen: And together we shall ring in the New Year.

[Nazreen gets up and slowly exits the stage]
[Shack Waiter approaches table]
Waiter: So, sir what you’ve you decided about my proposal?
Nazam: Buddy, we are just in that ‘when the journey meant more than the destination’ phase of our relationship. So thanks for the suggestion, but we’ll pass. Anyways, how much is it?
Waiter: 320 Bahts
Nazam: [Retrieves his wallet and hands over some cash]
[Shack waiter receives it, takes out some change from his apron pocket and hands over. But Nazam’s focus is elsewhere. Shack Waiter’s eyes follow Nazam’s line of gaze]
Waiter: [Turning back to Nazam] Sir, I’ve seen so many women in 2-piece bikinis. Gotta tell you. It suits your girl perfectly
Nazam: [Turning back to the Shack Waiter] I’m sure she’ll be glad to know that, but I can tell you I ain’t
Waiter: [Laughs] Pardon me. But, If I may ask, are you going to do what she wants tonight?
Nazam: [Smiles. Takes the cash from the shack waiter]
Waiter: I knew it. It always happens. They say ‘God plays dice’. But, it’s woman who always have the dice!
Nazam: Maybe, God is a woman
Waiter: Now, Sir, that’s totally insane!
Nazam: Well, you can say that I’m insane!
Waiter: No sir. You are just in love.
[Curtain falls]

LoL – Lots of Love
U; Shri.

Prefix Edition:
And It Happened

Suffix Edition:
NnN 5: Clubzilla

Note: The underlined phrases were the last 11 themes of Blogaton 2012.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: The Fool, Participation Count: 03

16 thoughts on “4. New Year’s Eve Plan

    • As someone who has written about Khan market, I was hoping you’d see through the ‘insanity’ that is presented out here. None of them are what are conventionally shown in ‘Indian media’

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